Tuesday, July 26, 2005
I have an assignment deadline and an exam this Friday, and I've barely started on my project. All is not lost though. Give me some credit. I've done my research and compiled it. I'm just trying to figure out how to start the blasted thing. It's like, I can never seem to find the right opening. Heh, then again, based on the kind of pick-up lines we men spout, I'm thinking it's genetic :) Seriously though, when you think about it, starting any good story is kinda like trying to pick up a woman. If it's a good start, it's all downhill from there. The words will flow effortlessly, and you're in the sack with an 'A' grade :)
Okay, this is bad. I'm comparing my dilemma in doing my project with trying to pick-up a woman *rolls eyes* I need a cigarette. And a drink. Argh. And because I'm not having either, I'm getting edgy. And now I feel bitchy. It's one of those nights. Actually, it's been a hella lot of "one of those nights" for the last couple of weeks or so. I just couldn't be bothered previously to write it out. I've always had the company of friends and alcohol to help facilitate the negative energies. Right now, the only deep calming breaths I want to take are through a Sampoerna Red. Ah hell, my parents are asleep. Why not?
10 minutes later, and I'm feeling a little more refreshed. For all non-smokers concerned reading this though, smoking is still bad for you. Honestly. If you don't believe me, ask me to show you my teeth next time I see you :) Still having that bitchy edge though. Well, can't have everything now can we? It reminds me of that line. "You can't have your cake and eat it." I never quite understood that one. What's the point of having your cake if you can't eat it? I mean, the whole point of having your cake is to eat it right? If not, what else are you going to do with it? If you're feeling charitable, the right thing to do would be to give it to someone who had a greater need for it. Still, that seems to be digging a little too deep. I figure someone said that to politely ask whoever it was to stop whining. Most whiners are too self-involved to think about whatever's said to them anyway, and most probably shut up after considering the surface deepness (Hmm, the paradox there says a lot about the line aready...) of the line.
I hate break-ups. I have to get that off my chest. I really do. Be it me or the other party, or even if it's mutual, it still sucks. They always just happen. And I'm left with a void that needs to be desperately filled. Heh, and in a situation like this, what better way to describe it than in song? After much listening, I have selected John Mayer's "Something Missing", and it will be displayed at the bottom of this post for your reading pleasure. I think I might have displayed it before in a previous post, but I feel it's more relevant for this occasion. Especially the line about not knowing whether this state of mind is of my own design. You know the worst thing about break-ups? For me at least. I'm left feeling very unsure about a lot of things. Like, if (And I mean if) I like someone new, how real is it going to be? It was never about the chase for me. It's after getting together, and it doesn't work out. Even after trying your best. If your best isn't going to be enough, then what is? It's trying to keep "trying your best". Heh, that was a little play on words there. Get it? See, I have been paying attention during my Journalism Skills classes :)
Jokes aside, I'm sure some of you know what I mean. And for those of you that don't, you're lucky. Honestly. This way, you don't know what you're missing. I'm SO tired. It didn't help that I sprained my back a couple weeks ago either. Thankfully, the combination of muscle relaxants and painkillers have been a God-send. Gene was a happy boy on those days. Gene was also rather delirious. I'm just happy I didn't wake up in another country in women's clothing with my eyebrows and ass tattooed. Ah yes, always good to be thankful for the smaller things in life...
So, yeah. There it is. There's more. There's always more. I'll leave it to the song lyrics to explain. I have a project to do *sighs* The burden of responsibility. Who would've thought I'd take it so seriously?
"I'm not alone, I wish I was.
Cause then I'd know, I was down because
I couldn't find, a friend around
To love me like, they do right now.
They do right now.
I'm dizzy from the shopping malls
I searched for joy, but I bought it all
It doesn't help the hunger pains
and a thirst I'd have to drown first to ever satiate
Something's missing
And I don't know how to fix it
something's missing
And I don't know what it is
At all
When autumn comes, it doesn't ask.
It just walks in, where it left you last.
And you never know, when it starts
Until there's fog inside the glass around your summer heart
Something's missing
And I don't know how to fix it
something's missing
And I don't know what it is
At all
I can't be sure that this state of mind, is not of my own design
I wish there was an over the counter test, for loneliness.
For loneliness like this.
Something's missing
And I don't know how to fix it
Something's missing
And I don't know what it is
No I don't know what it is
Something's different
And I don't know what it is
No I don't know what it is
Friends (check)
Money (check)
A well slept (check)
Opposite sex (check)
Guitar (check)
Microphone (check)
Messages waiting for me, when I come home (check)
How come everything I think I need, always comes with batteries
What do you think it means
How come everything I think I need, always comes with batteries
What do you think it means"
----- John Mayer, "Something's Missing"
Okay, this is bad. I'm comparing my dilemma in doing my project with trying to pick-up a woman *rolls eyes* I need a cigarette. And a drink. Argh. And because I'm not having either, I'm getting edgy. And now I feel bitchy. It's one of those nights. Actually, it's been a hella lot of "one of those nights" for the last couple of weeks or so. I just couldn't be bothered previously to write it out. I've always had the company of friends and alcohol to help facilitate the negative energies. Right now, the only deep calming breaths I want to take are through a Sampoerna Red. Ah hell, my parents are asleep. Why not?
10 minutes later, and I'm feeling a little more refreshed. For all non-smokers concerned reading this though, smoking is still bad for you. Honestly. If you don't believe me, ask me to show you my teeth next time I see you :) Still having that bitchy edge though. Well, can't have everything now can we? It reminds me of that line. "You can't have your cake and eat it." I never quite understood that one. What's the point of having your cake if you can't eat it? I mean, the whole point of having your cake is to eat it right? If not, what else are you going to do with it? If you're feeling charitable, the right thing to do would be to give it to someone who had a greater need for it. Still, that seems to be digging a little too deep. I figure someone said that to politely ask whoever it was to stop whining. Most whiners are too self-involved to think about whatever's said to them anyway, and most probably shut up after considering the surface deepness (Hmm, the paradox there says a lot about the line aready...) of the line.
I hate break-ups. I have to get that off my chest. I really do. Be it me or the other party, or even if it's mutual, it still sucks. They always just happen. And I'm left with a void that needs to be desperately filled. Heh, and in a situation like this, what better way to describe it than in song? After much listening, I have selected John Mayer's "Something Missing", and it will be displayed at the bottom of this post for your reading pleasure. I think I might have displayed it before in a previous post, but I feel it's more relevant for this occasion. Especially the line about not knowing whether this state of mind is of my own design. You know the worst thing about break-ups? For me at least. I'm left feeling very unsure about a lot of things. Like, if (And I mean if) I like someone new, how real is it going to be? It was never about the chase for me. It's after getting together, and it doesn't work out. Even after trying your best. If your best isn't going to be enough, then what is? It's trying to keep "trying your best". Heh, that was a little play on words there. Get it? See, I have been paying attention during my Journalism Skills classes :)
Jokes aside, I'm sure some of you know what I mean. And for those of you that don't, you're lucky. Honestly. This way, you don't know what you're missing. I'm SO tired. It didn't help that I sprained my back a couple weeks ago either. Thankfully, the combination of muscle relaxants and painkillers have been a God-send. Gene was a happy boy on those days. Gene was also rather delirious. I'm just happy I didn't wake up in another country in women's clothing with my eyebrows and ass tattooed. Ah yes, always good to be thankful for the smaller things in life...
So, yeah. There it is. There's more. There's always more. I'll leave it to the song lyrics to explain. I have a project to do *sighs* The burden of responsibility. Who would've thought I'd take it so seriously?
"I'm not alone, I wish I was.
Cause then I'd know, I was down because
I couldn't find, a friend around
To love me like, they do right now.
They do right now.
I'm dizzy from the shopping malls
I searched for joy, but I bought it all
It doesn't help the hunger pains
and a thirst I'd have to drown first to ever satiate
Something's missing
And I don't know how to fix it
something's missing
And I don't know what it is
At all
When autumn comes, it doesn't ask.
It just walks in, where it left you last.
And you never know, when it starts
Until there's fog inside the glass around your summer heart
Something's missing
And I don't know how to fix it
something's missing
And I don't know what it is
At all
I can't be sure that this state of mind, is not of my own design
I wish there was an over the counter test, for loneliness.
For loneliness like this.
Something's missing
And I don't know how to fix it
Something's missing
And I don't know what it is
No I don't know what it is
Something's different
And I don't know what it is
No I don't know what it is
Friends (check)
Money (check)
A well slept (check)
Opposite sex (check)
Guitar (check)
Microphone (check)
Messages waiting for me, when I come home (check)
How come everything I think I need, always comes with batteries
What do you think it means
How come everything I think I need, always comes with batteries
What do you think it means"
----- John Mayer, "Something's Missing"
Sunday, July 10, 2005
Wow, it's been a crazy 3 weeks for me. I've finally started my journey into the world of Mass Communications, and it's been quite exhilarating. I'll be coming home each day feeling as if my head's about to explode, and all I can think is that I've never felt this alive in ages. It's like one of those crazy roller-coaster rides. You're doing 360s and loops at break-neck speeds, coming this close to crapping your pants, and yet, at the end of it, you can't help but think to yourself, "AGAIN!" :)
Heh, alternatively, you could call me a glutton for punishment, but look at it from my point of view (As if you had a choice...). For the last 3 years, being stuck in National Service, I've become a tad too comfortable with people telling me what to do, and little independent thought in-between (Hmm, what shall I wear today? The green uniform, or the other green uniform? Woo, let's spice things up by not wearing any underwear!). All of a sudden, I'm stuck in an environment where my opinion is the only way I'm going to be heard, and saying 'yes' or 'no' to questions posed isn't going to do justice to the amount of money my parents have poured into this course for me. Let's not forget the effort and research put into doing my assignment. I mean, jeez, on my first day, I was asked to do a composition on TREES. Honestly, it's a crazy challenge. Go ahead, try writing a decent essay on trees now which doesn't make you wanna regurgitate blood after reading it. In half an hour *shakes head* Still, after being stuck doing IT for 5 years in Ngee Ann Polytechnic, I know I was meant to do this after the first week.
So I've submitted my assignment and finished off my exam on Friday, and to cap it off, I attended an insane surprise farewell party for a friend of mine who's flying off this Monday for studies in Melbourne. Yeah, I thought the same thing most of you are right now upon finding out. "Lucky bastard." Then again, maybe not. Heh, it's a long story to get into, but let's put it this way: It's exciting to be in a new environment, but it's always hella scary when it dawns on you all you're leaving behind. Heh, we're only human no? Wesley Choo, I'm going to miss you, you crazy bastard. We all will. And you know that :)
Heh, alternatively, you could call me a glutton for punishment, but look at it from my point of view (As if you had a choice...). For the last 3 years, being stuck in National Service, I've become a tad too comfortable with people telling me what to do, and little independent thought in-between (Hmm, what shall I wear today? The green uniform, or the other green uniform? Woo, let's spice things up by not wearing any underwear!). All of a sudden, I'm stuck in an environment where my opinion is the only way I'm going to be heard, and saying 'yes' or 'no' to questions posed isn't going to do justice to the amount of money my parents have poured into this course for me. Let's not forget the effort and research put into doing my assignment. I mean, jeez, on my first day, I was asked to do a composition on TREES. Honestly, it's a crazy challenge. Go ahead, try writing a decent essay on trees now which doesn't make you wanna regurgitate blood after reading it. In half an hour *shakes head* Still, after being stuck doing IT for 5 years in Ngee Ann Polytechnic, I know I was meant to do this after the first week.
So I've submitted my assignment and finished off my exam on Friday, and to cap it off, I attended an insane surprise farewell party for a friend of mine who's flying off this Monday for studies in Melbourne. Yeah, I thought the same thing most of you are right now upon finding out. "Lucky bastard." Then again, maybe not. Heh, it's a long story to get into, but let's put it this way: It's exciting to be in a new environment, but it's always hella scary when it dawns on you all you're leaving behind. Heh, we're only human no? Wesley Choo, I'm going to miss you, you crazy bastard. We all will. And you know that :)
